8 Acts of Chivalry to Bring Back - By Brian M Logan
2: when the woman on the bus catches you looking up her short skirt, don’t pretend like it didn’t happen. Compliment her on wearing Victoria Secret lacy see-through prostitute red underwear to work. You know she didn’t wear her best undies to the office for her husband, so she must’ve wanted someone to see it. So let her know that her plan has succeeded. It'll really make her day.
3: if a female colleague at work catches you with your tongue in her muffin, wipe your mouth before explaining that you thought the cakes in the fridge were for everyone.
4: Reciting limericks in the lunch room about a woman from Ealing helps women realise that if they just believe in themselves, they can shoot for the stars. Or, at the very least, the ceiling.
5: Always allow a woman to go through a door first. This gives her a sense of self-empowerment while also allowing you to walk through without spilling those four triple strength macchiatos you bought for the lads up on the Executive Floor.
6: Women appreciated pick-up lines. It shows them you’re making an effort. Ones like ‘If I were a traffic light, I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you ass a bit longer,’ go down particularly well.
7: If you get a chub while at the pool because of that group of year 11 girls doing aqua aerobics in lanes 1 and 2, make a point of getting out of the water and walking the long way around the pool to collect your towel. They’re school kids remember, somebody has to educate them.
8: Walter Raleigh famously threw down his coat in front of Queen Elizabeth so she wouldn’t get her shoes dirty in the mud. An act that got him a BJ and a knighthood. Keep that end game in mind the next time you see a pretty woman attempting to circumnavigate a puddle. Sure, you’re not likely to get a knighthood out of it, but hey…one out of two ain’t bad.